"I vaguely remember the time before the slow rusting started. It was just normal, like it always used to be. but now it seems like a world within and a world outside the effect of the 'stuff'..... the stuff that enters your body.. slowly and slowly absorbs in the blood and reaches the brain like a shield of energy.. "its a monster of energy" .. feel like it is cutting through my blood vessels... powering up and layering with calmness, evrything that comes in its way... making eyes blur.. view hazy.. throat quench y.. sounds melodious.. perception daunted.. it is what a lehman would describe as.... " gentle beauty of fear "... a beauty that could make one drool with pleasure and also tear ones patience with its unsettling silence and smoothness. The body fights to it.. it has to.. like it always does.. brain tries to think sound, and later thinks sounds... somehow everything goes on like a vicious storm under a smooth sheet.. it is unadulterated presence with delusional sense of thought..
You get it..! yes you do.. you get what the doors mean... the caramel voice of kurt cobain.. believe me.. there are imaginations you could have never seen, feelings u cud have never felt, the psychedelic kaleidoscope u could've never visualized if it wasn't for pink floyd.. Never more could I ever agree this much to music.. this what the stuff does.. it makes you agree with what you feel, your dark inner light...
Do I sound confusing to u..?? I guess so... or maybe not.. but i really don't know... it is like there is a sound of silence.. if you try to look deep into this silence you find your uncovered thoughts.. free as clouds.. and your dark holes.. all your doubts and all your accomplishments. One thing i realised writing upto this point.. if this all seems random shit to anyone, I really don't give a fuck to that.. buzz off and continue with your bloodsucking schedule.. and if it makes sense... baby I am glad that you are with me...
It is just so wonderful if you can really feel your mind working. it is like jumping from thought to thought over a river of flowing time and through gentle bridges.. believe me.. it is all up to you to think of life as an endless marathon or a journey on which there is no reversal no turning back ever.. thats the beauty of it.. thats it... and finally you end into a dance of death.. 
I wonder what death would be like.. sure it is not something you feel dually... isn't it such an elusive suspense. Life is colorful... dim or bright whatever.. but it all very lively and forward.. but what about the end.. is it all the colors confiscated into a dark black tunnel that leads to nowhere or is it a all these colors converged into a glorious white light.. or is it all just a puff... and gone..! How should I or for that fact anyone know about any of these.. there are people with near death experiences who tell you they saw a bright light or some intriguing crap.. but they never really know you see.. to see death you kinda have to die and not almost die.. isn't that the rule? I guess what they see is just a panicky reflex of then choked brain... so to me at least.. death remains the biggest mystery.. the ultimate enigma.. and yeah.. I don't hope to find the answer soon !! I guess it is always better to have and lost that to never have at all.. I just don't know how I always go into these creepy interpretations ... from what I remember.. I started off easy and light but then I guess thats the gentle charisma of " the'high'ness ".. she takes you along with its beautiful and alluring flow and you just cant stop it.. what I find amazing is you actually never even want to stop it...why would you.. after all it is just your own mind speaking... if you wouldn't listen to it, who would.??? "
